When I was a child my father would never let me go anywhere empty handed. I never brought anything extravagant with me, just a small offering. If I was invited to a friend’s house after school I might bring a box of donuts or a bottle of root beer. I always felt like such a doofus for showing up with something when other kids came with nothing. In elementary school I didn’t have the abilty to fully understand the gesture that I was making everytime I went somewhere. By showing up with something, anything, I was saying thank you - I appreciate being here. However small the gesture, it rarely goes unnoticed.

As an adult, I now value the lesson I was taught as a small child. Always show your appreciation to your hostess, whether you are being served a formal dinner or just stopping by for coffee.

But the question of when a gift is appropriate and what type to bring can be confusing. I don’t drink alcohol but most of my friends do so I make sure to have it on hand when I invite people over and often offer to bring wine when invited for dinner. But what about your first visit to someone’s home? What if you are unfamilar with their style and tastes? There are always safe bets, like alcohol, fancy hand soaps, candles, flowers, etc. But what if they are allergic to the scent of the candle you bring?! Eck! Bottom line is there is no perfect gift. It truly is the thought that counts. Thoughtfulness won’t lead you astray. Worst case they give the funky kiwi scented candles you brought to a neighbor. They still feel special for having gotten the gift and you feel the joy of giving. Everybody wins! So show up with that bottle of root beer and let your host know how happy you are to be invited.

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