I consider myself a very savvy shopper. I worked in a supermarket part-time for a while during my college years, and it was an eye-opening experience. It gave me the ability to size up any supermarket quickly and shop efficiently. I understand signs and the way the aisles are configured and I know who to ask for help if they are out of a certain size of bottled water, or the eggs are too spotty. It also reiterated what I already knew, that most people are completely spastic in a supermarket and also a bit rude.

Pet peeve: people who leave their carts in the middle of the aisle and block 17 people while looking for a can of string beans that is right in front of them  = rude.

I also learned to size up the cashiers/baggers so that everytime I go into my local supermarket I know which lines to avoid, i.e. the kid who always puts huge jars of sauce on top of your eggs. I choose my cash register carefully as to avoid the sloppy bagger/scary cashier. It works like a charm. Little hint - if every register line has several people on it and one is empty (and it didn’t just open) tread carefully it might be the aggressive bagger everyone is avoiding.

Another pet peeve: people who spill things/knock things over and leave it there. Why?! Can you not pick up that can of corn you just chucked on the floor? If your child smashes a bottle of juice on the ground go tell customer service! Accidents are not a big deal but they should be reported.

Supermarket etiquette is a tricky thing. Most people are concerned with their own shopping and are oblivious to everyone else. If everyone could follow a few simple rules things would go much smoother. Tips: Loosely follow traffic rules, meaning stay to the right of the aisle to keep traffic flowing; If you see a traffic jam in an aisle you really need to go down, park your cart at the end of the aisle (out of the way) and run down and grab your item; If you see somone who is blantantly blocking the aisle and doesn’t care, gently move their cart out of the way as you say something like “Oh excuse me, traffic jam!”. Say it with a big smile and they most likely won’t b!tch at you; Make use of customer service that’s why they are there. They can call any department manager to check on the status of ordered items, they can make change for you, sell you roles of quarters and lottery tickets and you can go to them with any questions about your receipt, i.e. exchanges.

Oh and ps. don’t squish the tomatoes and then complain that all the tomatoes are squished…duh!

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