Aunt Mary Jane was my great aunt, my grandfather’s sister to be exact. She was without a doubt one of the most charismatic, vibrant people I have ever known. She has been gone many years now, but she pops into my mind often, especially recently.

Every Easter Aunt Mary Jane would come stay with us for a few days. She lived in a small co-op in NYC and used to take the hour long train ride to our house for her holiday visit. These visits were pretty tame, she would bring me some awesome gift like paper dolls (still a favorite of mine) and we would go on walks around the neighborhood for hours. She would let me sit in the bathroom with her in the mornings and quietly watch her make-up regime. We didn’t have a guest room so she slept on the pull-out couch in the living room. Most nights I would opt to sleep in the living room with her rather than in my room alone. I can still remember the sound of her deep, slow breaths as I lay awake at night, wondering how much longer she would be with us.

Aunt Mary Jane had cancer, a disease she suffered from for many years. It made us cherish those holiday visits all the more. But she never seemed to let it get her down. Even with only a couple of inches of hair on her head, she would style it, put on her make-up and a glorious hat and be ready for Easter Sunday. We would take a photo together in front of our forsythia shrub in all our Easter glory.

I cherished those visits from her. She used to mail me typed letters on her own stationary, I still have a few of them. I thought she was the most sophisticated woman in the world. She never married or had children and for years I wondered if she was ever lonely. But the more I have spoken to my family about her over the years, the more I realized that we were all her children - all of her nieces and nephews. She lavished attention and affection on all of the children around her and we all adored her. I have many fleeting memories of being with her - her crying at my grandfather’s grave during one visit; walking to A&P to get ice cream; teasing me about my stuffed bear, Buddy; visiting her in the City.

Aunt Mary Jane passed away before I got into Junior High and the loss was a big one for me. I often wonder what my life would be like if she and my grandparents had all lived longer. What would it have been like to have celebrated with them at my college graduation, at my wedding….

Even though I feel like she was taken from us too soon, I am so very grateful to have had her friendship and love. She had the kind of exuberance you don’t often see. I still miss her terribly, and I hope that one day I can be the kind of aunt/grandmother-figure that a child thinks of many years after I am gone, cherishing all of the wacky and meaningful ways that I touched their life.

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